Á visitor in the land of large, pasty men

Hi all,
Rather than starting a new blog for my trip to Turkey I will reuse this old one. It is day -1, i.e. I arrive in Turkey in 8 hours.

To start a little background...
I used frequent flier miles to go to Turkey, because it is a very good deal (only 30,000 miles each way), and on the way there I booked first class (for an extra 20,000 miles).

International First class is a surreal world inhabited by balding, pasty, round men. In my travel clothes (convertible pants (they go from pants to shorts), polypropylene t-shirt), I clearly did not fit in. Many of them take the same route every week so they all know each other and the stewardess, making my outsider status even more transparent. So I boarded the flight from Minneapolis to London (leg two of the journey). Here is how clear it was that I was a poser. The first thing the aging baby boomer next to me says is, "So, you an upgrade?" No, in fact, I booked first class, I told him. Score one for Josh.

A few words about what first class international is like. The first thing I noticed was how peaceful it is. Instead of being in this massive compartment with hundreds of others, you are in a small room with a dozen others. This also makes it much quieter. There are "plush duvet(s) and over stuffed down pillows(s)"

The food choices are amazing. As I was looking over the menu (I chose the seared mahi mahi with lemon butter, served over risotto which came after the Moroccan crab salad, Greek salad and cream of asparagus soup, but before the cheese plate and ice cream sundays. There were 8 wines to choose from. I went with the sparkling Brut, preferring the fragrance of white flowers over the honey and mushroomed Semillon with flavors of quince paste and fig preserves. Meanwhile, I over heard an announcement that nacho chips were on sale for three dollars back in the chattel class.

With my meal selection made, I wanted to kick back and relax, but there was no little lever to recline my seat. There was an electronic pad with about a dozen buttons (picture coming later). I tried this and my seat starting vibrating. I tried another button and the lumbar support moved higher. Meanwhile, Mister Upgrade has his feet out and up on the foot rest and was on his third glass of wine. I considered the alternatives. I could sit bolt upright for the entire 9 hours or I would need help. So I asked Mr. Upgrade, and he explained the basics of how to operate my seat. (So much for my first class cred).

So I set about adjusting my seat, but being challenged in things like this, I could not get it right. Every thing I did to try to fix the problem just made me into more of a contortionist. It got so bad I could not eat and had to push the return to landing position button to start over.

I felt like I was at a fancy dinner where everyone else knows the social etiquette and I can't figure out what fork to use or how to eat my corn on the cob.

I also had to ask my neighbor how to take out the personal monitor-computer screen.

I am in London now, even though my original flight was supposed to go through Paris. They were in an "overbooked situation" and were offering people 750 dollars to take a different flight. I asked what the next flight was and they said they could get me to Istanbul through Amsterdam 30 minutes before I was supposed to arrive on the original flight. Well, that was a no brainer. But then the Amsterdam flight was overbooked as well, so I collected another 750 dollars and lost 5 hours of vacation.

So, I am in the first class lounge now, using their computers and Internet. I just took a shower in the private shower rooms they have upstairs.

So far so good. I had a great visit with friends in Minneapolis when I had my layover. Next stop in Istanbul, and Evan has already reserved me a place at a hostel.

More once my vacation actually begins.
Josh
PS - On the flight from SF to Minnneapolis, there was a movie about a hard edged columnist (Steve Lopez) who I remember from Philadelphia (he is in LA now).At one point in the movie, he got so mad that he said, "Shmoo Fart" or so the version for the plane would have you believe.

Shmoo Fart.