De - and re-commissioned

Here is what I know:
On Thursday around 5 pm, our boss was told that all the Long Term Community Recovery Staff were being decommissioned. Monday would be our last day. This message was passed to us on Friday (today).

The given reason by FEMA is that a "pause" was being taken because the Mississippi Recovery Authority (MRA) and the counties wanted to figure out how to develop more local leadership. In a few weeks the office would be re-started.

This is a lie. The MRA was not consulted in advance. So either FEMA is a mind reader, or they doing things they want and saying the MRA wants it.

There was a powerful conference call where my team lead demanded an explanation of what happened. He owed it to the Parish. He was told, “We are sending down talking points (in other words stick to the party line).” He responded, “I don’t want talking points, I want the truth!”

We told our contacts at the Parish and they were shocked and upset. It felt like a funeral.

(To explain: The chairman of the economic development committee, Gary, is normally this boisterous man. Our econ devel task force meetings are Wednesday and he gets there first and when each person enters the room he calls out their names in a booming voice, “Mr. Nelson is in the house!” “Ms. Jones is in the house!” Today he slumped in late, deflated. He said, “Is it true?” and I said, “I’m sorry.”

They asked us what would happen to the long term recovery effort. What would happen to the half written plans about how to rebuild? Who will make sense of the scribbles on maps about which areas of the county will be off limits to development. Who will ensure the treasures of the county are not lost? All these plans will be half finished and useless to anyone else. Two months, two precious were wasted. Every day that goes by people are more likely to make a new life somewhere else. Two months is a life time to waste. All we could do was give them our personal phone numbers and told them to call us any time.

People spent the day moping around the office. Some people booked airfare home. Many of us do not have work waiting for us back home. No one knew what to do. If we had a week or two we could have made a graceful transition. We could have passed along enough knowledge to the county to let them take the ball and run. But being told on Friday that we needed to go home on Monday. It is ridiculous.

We planned a crawfish boil for the next day, our last supper.

It is hard to explain how low everyone was feeling. It was like we were told that we are shit, nothing, didn’t matter. Reminded that we can be sent home at any time for any reason. Told that our work was meaningless. Could be erased at no notice. Everyone down here believes in the work we are doing. We are working 70 hours a week, in shitty conditions, trying our best to make a difference. After months of work we have finally gained the trust of the residents. Bam! It’s all gone. It’s all for nothing.

Then around 5 pm today, there was another conference call. FEMA had changed its mind. The Governor had talked to the head of FEMA. We were going to stay on.

Everyone on the team is burned out. No one that I have talked to believes in the mission any more. I think many people will leave. If not Monday, then in the coming weeks. I can’t imagine getting our spirit back.

I don't know the metaphor. Maybe it is a marriage that you work on for a long time and then you find out your partner cheated. The trust is gone. The trust between us and the community, us and FEMA, everything, you can't get it back. Then the court says, you two have to get back together, you have to try again. You're like, Fuck it, it's over, but Monday comes and you wake up and you don't ship out and you have to make the best of it.

It is a low day in Mississippi.