Night From Hell

Night from Hell

The people from my company called. They said I was in big trouble for not retuning the rental car (which they provided at the government tab). They told me I was only allowed to keep it for two months and then I had to check back in with Hertz. I told them I had only had it a month and a half. They said it did not matter, Hertz thought it was stolen and I had to return it to Biloxi, where I initially picked it up, almost two hours away!

Feeling very clever, I came up with a solution. Call and tell them that it was not stolen! This was not possible, I was told, because Hertz needed the mileage. The brilliant problem solver that I am, I came up with a new solution, I would tell them the mileage! Again, the answer was no. Maybe I could return the car in Gulfport, where I am based? Nope, it had to be Biloxi. They wanted me to exchange the car for a new one and to do that in Gulfport, two hours away, would cost $3,300!

After much arguing, I agreed to return the car the next day. Then came the kicker. They did not have any additional cars for me to rent. I would have to return it and then go to a new rental car company to get a new car. This seemed like a lame excuse because they did not know what day my car was being returned, so why couldn’t I just rerent it?

So, after work I drove up to Biloxi and turned in my car and picked up the new car. I met some friends for a bite to eat and headed back to Gulfport. It was almost 1 am and I was finally almost home, maybe 10 minutes away. I started thinking about my apartment and thought, where are my keys. I started to panic, patting down my pockets, etc.

I then realized I had left them on the key chain when I returned the old rental car! Turning around and going back to the rental place would put me home at 5 am and besides the rental place would probably be closed. I decided to call the rental place and make sure they did not rerent the car before removing my keys.

I tried to turn on the internal light in the car, so I could dial my phone, but being a stupid new car, I could not find the light. And then I saw the bad flashing lights behind me.

In the process of looking for my keys and the light I did not stay in my lane, and a cop saw me.

So the cop pulled me over and told me I was swerving. I apologized and explained that I had switched cars and my apartment keys were on the old chain.

Having none of it, he asked if I had been drinking. I told him I had one glass of wine three hours ago and honestly the reason I did not stay in my lane was because I was looking for my keys and the light. He made me get out of the car and do the DUI walk and a couple of other tests. Of course I passed and he let me go (concluding that it was tiredness that made me drive so poorly). (I felt like asking him if he was dumb and reminding him that I had already explained twice what the problem was). I did not say anything and drove away.

Then I realized the bozo had forgotten to return my drivers license. Here I was with no way to get in to my apartment, scheduled to catch a flight in 12 hours and no ID!

Luckily, I had only driven 50 feet and he was still in his car doing whatever it is cops do after they let someone. I got out of the car and pointed out that he still had my drivers license, which he then returned.

So, I tried to check in to several different hotels, but because of the storms everyone was booked to capacity. I eventually broke in to the club house at my apartment / condo complex (using a credit card) and spent four and a half hours sleeping fitfully before heading in to work, wearing the t-shirt and jeans that I wore on my drive.

(The next morning the rental agent gave me a new set of keys and life was returned to normal)